Sunday, 30 October 2011

The Adventures of Tintin: The Secret Of The Unicorn Review

the_adventures_of_tintin_2011_5567_posterIt takes a great film to take ‘movie reviewer Dan’ out of his Osama hideout and share his thoughts……but Alvin & the Chipmunks 3 is still months away so this will have to do. As a fan of Steven Spielberg I knew even before seeing the trailer that I would be blocking a cinema seat from seeing the film with my ass. Then I watched the trailer. Then I watched the trailer again. Then I cleaned my glasses... and watched the trailer again……I’ll save some time, I believe I watched the trailer about 25 times before actually seeing the film. I was amazed by it!! It felt like some sort of mind trick where everything I was seeing and hearing was awesome. Like Dr. Charles Xavier was inside my mind saying ( a Patrick Stewart voice) “You ARE enjoying the WILL see this film…and you WILL tell Magneto to bring back my wheelchair…seriously I’ve been sitting on my bed for days now…its beyond a joke……when I find out who designed that bloody helmet of his I’m gonna make them think they’re Stewie Griffin’s nappy!!!”. So you see I had no choice but to see this film.

Let me put this simply, I FREAKIN LOOOOOVED THIS FILM!!!!! I LOVED IT SO MUCH I’M SCARED I MIGHT HAVE AN STD!!! You see, there are ‘movies’…there are ‘Steven Spielberg movies’…then there are ‘STEVEN FREAKIN SPIELBERG MOVIES!!!’. This is the latter!! It has been a while since Spielberg has done a movie where he has really let loose and had fun with a film. In Tintin he reminds us why he is one of the greatest filmmakers of all time. From the very first scene he had me gripped, GRIPPED!!! IT WAS DAMN NEAR ASSAULT!!! I WOULD HAVE CALLED THE POLICE IF I COULD GET A SIGNAL!!! ‘POLICE POLICE!!’ I would have shouted, ‘SPIELBERG HAS ME GRIPPED!!! HE HAS ME IN AN ANACONDA CHOKE AND I DON’T KNOW WHAT HE WANTS!! HE WONT LET GO!!! ITS LIKE HE’S DROWNING AND I’M A FLOATATION DEVICE!!!’. The visuals command respect! Like a teacher with a gun!! I sat there quietly and kept my head down to avoid getting asked questions I didn’t know the answers to. Seriously, I’ve not been as captured by an opening scene and presence of a movie since ‘Lost in translation’ where Scarlett Johansson’s bum is the first and only thing we see for a good forty seconds. You’re welcome.

The most impressive thing about this film to me was the camera work. I can not remember the last time I saw such creativity and exploration with a camera. This has always been a skill that Spielberg has revelled in but he really cranked it up in this film. It brings me so much pleasure to say he is back on top form……in fact, it almost makes me question if he was on performance enhancement drugs whilst doing this!! There’s so much I can say about this film but I’ve wasted a lot of space already so I’ll just quick fire a few things. The way he juggles the many different themes and locations is absolutely flawless!! The humour threaded in the film is brilliant and largely credited to Andy Serkis as ‘Captain Haddock’ and the unstoppable duo Nick Frost & Simon Pegg as the ‘Thompson twins’. There are creative transitions in this film that make you go ‘Whoa…what a creative transition’. There is also a great JAWS reference in this film that you can’t help but chuckle at. The 3D was good (not great), and quite frankly I would love to see it again on the big screen. Can’t wait to see what Peter Jackson will brings to the table in the sequel, but I know for sure that another cinema seat will be blocked!!