So you know what I was thinking about the other day? no? ‘Worlds Greatest Psychic’ my ass!! Anyway, I was thinking about Pandas……… ok, I’m lying, my friend Abi told me to write about Pandas. I’m not entirely sure why? Perhaps her iPod is being held captive to an angry Panda who wants her to spread Panda awareness……IT COULD HAPPEN!!! To be honest I think Abi is a panda dressed in the finest Philippian human skin. I’ve always suspected it, and it would definitely explain why she was eating that leaf the other day…………or was it a sandwich?? My memory is a little foggy. Its a shame there isn't more pandas in the world though. I don’t think I have ever actually seen one. I mean I’ve seen them on TV but I heard you should never trust the media. I mean, what if they don't even look like that!! What if they’re actually green with stripes!! For all we know a reporter just happened to catch one coming back from a fancy dress party and claimed they are all like that!!
Not that I have a problem with the way they look, they’re mad cute, I would definitely like to have one as a pet . Cat’s and dog’s are so cliché these days, they’re everywhere!! Apparently they even fall from the sky when it rains although I’ve never seen it myself. How cool would it be to bring your friends around your house and say “Oh him? that’s just Timmy my pet panda” and walk away all nonchalant like as though you don’t realise how cool having a pet panda is. I wonder if I’d have to take him for walks? Probably not, I imagine he’d just stay slouched on the sofa watching recordings of ‘loose women’ hoping its one of those programs that does what it says on the tin.
Abi says they look like they have two black eyes but I disagree. I think they look like they’re wearing sunglasses. Morpheus type ones that stick to their faces……hmmm perhaps they’re doing what Paris Hilton does, wearing the sunglasses to hide their black eyes!! I heard a rumour that one was on the loose in London!! Could you imagine him on the tube wearing a long khaki trench coat, harry potter glasses, and a dark black hat with holes in it for the ears to pop through. Just sitting there all casually while he reads his Metro, sighing over an article on how iPods are being taken ransom across the country by disregarded pandas. Pfff a panda on the loose, yea right, what a load of nonsense……now if you’ll excuse me I’ve got errands to run………anyone know where I can buy bamboo shoots??………oops……i mean……brand…new……boots