Tuesday, 25 May 2010

Iron Man 2 Review

This film is like a fatally rebellious vampire, IT SHOULD HAVE NEVER SEEN THE LIGHT OF DAY!!! I sit through what seems like an hour of commercials and trailers, with my cup of Fanta big enough to drown a hobbit and nachos with cheese like quick drying cement, eagerly awaiting the film. As the film starts I begin to wonder why Tony Stark is in court defending his case to a panel of suits who are demanding the Iron Man suit for government security purposes. A case that, like a mermaid, clearly has no legs to stand on. The more the film continues the less I care about what’s going on. There is barely any story to speak of!! Its like a bedtime book that has one page that reads “and they lived happily ever after”. I can only describe this film as an empty sandwich because it has a ok-ish start and an ok-ish end but all in between is the dry taste of bread……no? ok how about this one. This film is like a Barbie Doll, THERE JUST ISNT ANYTHING THERE IN THE MIDDLE!!! The majority of this film is pointlessness. Like Iron Man peeing in his suit, or a random fight that comes from nowhere between him and his best friend “Rhodey”. At times I reached for a remote to skip to the next chapter before remembering that I was in the cinema. A lot of this film was also spent promoting the future 2012 ‘Avengers’ film. This will include Iron Man, Hulk, Thor and Captain America in a supposedly awesome mother of all Marvel action films. It was like a really long trailer with minimal time invested in actually making this sequel a film of its own.

One thing I was hugely disappointed with was the lack of action, it might as well have been a comedy film. There were only 2 main action pieces, TWO!!! YOU GET MORE IN AN EPISODE OF THE POWER RANGERS!!! Now, I do not hate this film, I just feel it lacks on every level in every way, especially compared to it predecessor. AND!!! MICKEY ROUKE!! The best character in the entire film gets as much screen time as one of those cue marks you get at the top right-hand corner of old projection films. He’s there for like 6 frames then before you know it he’s gone!!

As a film on its own its ok, but, as a sequel to a film I hold with high regard, it fails miserably. The entire film seems more confused than an old lady who drops a letter addressed to love_demon74@hotmail.com in a post box. When you walk into the cinema, hold your popcorn, hold your drink, just don’t hold much expectations.

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