Sunday, 20 September 2009

Gamer Review

image Immediately as I walk into the cinema I realise that someone had turned the volume up to an immense amount. An advert for anti-piracy dances across the screen and I’m literally vibrating in my chair like a ringing phone that's addicted to Red Bull. The sound waves are bouncing off the wall like giant surfers listening to Michael Jackson……see what I did there :D……no!?……oh……blast I'm losing my touch. The sounds boom into my ears forcing my ear drum player to go all Travis Beaker on them. How’d he fit them cymbals in there!! The trailers present themselves to us as I try to ignore the ridiculous volume levels. This proves insanely difficult when lights are falling off the ceiling and each on-screen explosion causes a new crack on the wall. By the time the film starts I’m already halfway into my popcorn, partially deaf and sitting in an auditorium that now has a sunroof!! The film by-passes all the livers, lungs and intestines and thrusts you straight into the heart of the action. It’s a thing of beauty!! Guns. Grenades. Explosions and corpses!! Everything that appeals to your average man. They couldn’t make this film more masculine if they attached a pair of testicles to the title!! The action was naturally intensified by the speakers which were working overtime to ensure my ears were bleeding with every sound. Even the whispers were like ambulance sirens playing through arena speakers!! Its the type of film that doesn't necessarily need to have the best of storylines and truthfully it doesn’t, but what it does have is a brilliant premise. The idea of controlling real people through gunfire environments does have an appeal……like a Satsuma :D (peel……Satsuma……no!?………man, what's up with me today)

Gerard Butler does a good job in the role of the in-mate trying to gain his freedom by donating himself as a character in a game. Although he acts it convincingly i must say, its not the hardest role for him, in-fact it seems to be a perfect match. Its always good to see rapper Ludacris moonlighting as an actor, although all of his roles thus far has been a very one dimensional angry black man. Also Michael C. Hall makes a very whimsical, loveable bad guy. This isn't surprising considering ‘Dexter’, where he plays a serial killer with morals, is going into it’s forth season now. I must say this film isn't for everybody. Its the sorta film that can easily give you a headache due to the fast paced camera movements and merciless lighting acrobats. It has a very ‘Crank’-esq style in that respect……sorry, hang on…… “what do you want Joseph?……speak up!!……what!?………quit mucking around and say whatever you wanna say already!!……I CANT LIP READ, SPEAK UP!!!!!!……OH CRAP!!!……IM SO SUING THAT CINEMA!!!

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