Thursday, 14 May 2009

Fast and Furious Review

Firstly I cant help be disgusted by the total lack of originality with the chosen film title. Seriously, is it that hard to come up with a new title or at least a sub-title...even 'The Fast and the Furious 4' would have been better. Anyhow onto the actual film. This film is pretty much like every other street racing styled car film and does very little to add to the franchise. I think all car films should have an extra summin summin to make it stand out. 'Herbie' had a personality that made Russell Brand look bland, 'Speed Racer' had race tracks that trump those of a computer game, Pixar's 'Cars' had the whole...well lets face it, its Pixar, it didn't need help standing out.  The original Fast and Furious had the arsenal of hydraulic empowered cars with the CGI visualisation and was one of the first to do it. ‘2 Fast 2 Furious’ had Eva Mendes and Devon Aoki, Tokyo Drift had the benefit of import cars and the whole drift thing which was quite fresh. This film had nothing other than the return of the original characters which, as pleasing as that is didn't give it that push factor it needed. Anyhow you get my point. Another flaw was the lack of snazzy cars. To me that's one of the benefits of having street racing themed films. Its a chance to showcase a bunch of insanely amazing cars which we love to look at but know we'll never have (like watching America's Next Top Model......erm......not that I watch that show……that's on Monday's at 9pm on Living tv……COME ON ALLISON WOOOOO!!!!) There were hardly any cars that made my mouth water, hardly any cars with crazy custom modification that make ‘Pimp my ride’ look like a ford focus with a VHS player cello-taped to the hood!! Dammit I wanna see cars with toasters and ironing boards in them!! Cars that talk to you in 3 different languages and sound like Elizabeth Hurley!! Cars that monitor your eBay interests and bid on your behalf!! Cars that change colour and play certain music playlists in accordance to your mood!! CARS THAT DISPOSE OF UNHEALTHY SUBSTANCES YOU SNEAK ONBOARD LIKE CHOCOLATES OR KEBABS OR PIZZAS!!!! (actually scrap that idea).

[[[SPOILER ALERT, skip to next paragraph]]]The one thing I thought would be the films saving grace was Michelle Rodriguez but she’s in it for like 15minutes before getting killed off like Bambi’s mum!! WHAT’S THAT ABOUT!!! I died a little inside the same way i died a little when she was killed off in Lost, someone seriously has it out for her!!

Upon reading what I have written thus far I must point out that it is actually an enjoyable film that Id probably watch again in the future. I must also point out that I would literally hunt Bambi’s mum myself if I could have a voice like Vin Diesels, its so dreamy. I bet he just has to clear his throat when he walks in a room and women fall at his feet. Anyhows, watch this film, If you liked the first one you’ll like this one.

1 comment:

Juwairiyyah said...

hahah! the bit that really really got me going was "...its so dreamy...", i agree with you wholeheartedly and i was totally swooned.

you'd love it if you could sneak pizza anywhere! not just your car! i was majoress sad when michelle died too. *tear*