Saturday, 30 May 2009

The Cheek Of Some People

Have you ever been in that situation where you are minding your own business and you are suddenly hit by a fart smell that makes you wanna dial 999 and call for an ambulance. A fart smell that could erode all types of rock and could be considered a type of nuclear gas terrorist arm themselves with. You are absolutely disgusted!! The smell is horrific, its suffocating you, someone’s butt fragrance is invading your nose!! Its so strong it makes your eyes water faster than sitting in a sauna with 200 peeled onions. Its not even a normal passing fart, its one that lingers about like its waiting to be appreciated, like its waiting for a round of applause or some kind of award. It is one of the dirtiest smells you have ever encountered and you just cant understand how someone can harbour such deadly substances inside them. Though you hold your breath the smell persists and you have no choice but to eventually surrender and hesitantly breathe it in. It gets in your system like a virus trying to shut you down, re-wire your wires and unscrew your screws. How foul, how vulgar, how uncouth!! Has this person no shame!! Such total disregard for the people around them!! So ill-mannered!! No one should be allowed to discharge such an awful smell into the world, except maybe James Bond because he has a license to kill. It should be a felony!! Some kind of rebellious environmental breech that would have the National Geographic listing a mixture of global warming violations in order to have you arrested!! Then you subconsciously decide to show this person how outraged you are by looking at them with a face that says “I loathe you, you are less than dirt and I hope you burn in the pits of hell for the sin you have committed”………………but then you realise you are alone……there is nobody around you………and only you……and you alone……could have released that toxic odour. ‘Cor that was a bloody brilliant fart’ you think. ‘Ground-breaking. If only there was someone around to have witnessed it!!’

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