Monday, 20 April 2009

Knowing Review

THIS IS AN AMAAAAZING FILM!!!!!!!!…………is what I’d be saying had I listened to my friends and watched SOMETHING ELSE!! Now the only thing I can say I liked about this film was its special effects. They stood with the best of them making your eyes jump out their sockets, turn around and say “We cant believe what  we’re seeing!!!” which can be a problem seeing as you cant believe your eyes especially when they cant believe each other…..errrr wait……..ok im confused….but for some reason i want to say ‘You should have gone to spec savers’. Now as sexy as those special effects are, one cannot rely on this alone to carry a film…or any other number for that matter, i mean four cannot rely on it either.

The story starts off promising like a bright boy who has just received 9 GCSE’s but then this boy starts listening to Marilyn Manson, smoking and doing drugs and drops out of College to sell blood for cash to buy more drugs and gets some girl pregnant but sells the baby for even MORE DRUGS!!…………YES…THATS HOW BAD THE FILM GETS!!!! ITS ON THE SAME LEVEL AS A GUY WHO SELLS HIS OWN DAUGHTER FOR DRUGS!! Alex Proyas what was you thinking takin on a film like this!!! How do you go from “I, Robot” to this pile of cow dung!! In fact I take that back, cows probably wouldn't want no association with this rubbish!! They’re far too busy laughing and making spreadable cheese.

Given the title I should have known better, i actually feel it was bad for my health….like I was in danger of having some kind of seizure whilst watching it, I do believe i even coughed blood a few times!! The stupid cinema staff should have warned me!! I should have walked up to them going “2 tickets for ‘Knowing’ please” and they should have waved their index finger and said “Ahhh we would love to but I'm afraid that's not possible, its a health and safety hazard and we are not insured for any potential mishaps”. OR AT LEAST TAKEN A QUICK HEALTH CHECK!!! AGE? SMOKER? DRINKER? SUFFER FROM EPILECT SYNDROMES? HAVE PROBLEMS URINATING?…..I DIDNT GET ASKED NONE OF THAT!!! THEY JUST LET ME GO IN COMPLETELY UNAWARE AND UNPROTECTED!! DAMN YOU KNOWING!!!! DAAAAMMMMMNNN YOOOOOOUUUUU!!!!!!!

1 comment:

juabra-joey said...

your the most dramatic drama queen i know! and this is conveyed in this review!! it did make me chuckle throughout though, so many clever things were said! jolly good show! this review..not the movie!