Ok so I'm at Charing Cross train station. After seeing my train wasn’t arriving for another 15 minutes I wondered into WHSmiths, as I usually do, to look at the magazines (no not those ones……well maybe one or two). After a quick scan through the usual suspects ‘PS3 Official’, ‘Mobile Choice’, and ‘OK’ (DONT JUDGE ME!!!) I drift over to ‘Blu-Ray Review’ where I indulge my inner…..and outer geek. This is a magazine that feeds you so much technical news you’ll probably poo out Blu-Ray player info for a week!! Pixel management, audio codec's, screen resolutions, future releases, ratio’s, you know, all that sexy stuff. Then I turn the page wide-eyed from reading that ‘King Kong’s" arrival onto Blu-Ray is nearing and I see the all too familiar face of WALL-E.
Now anyone who knows me knows the 2 things that make me happier than a kid with an all access pass to Disneyland. Pixar and Pizza. I immediately throw on my swimming trunks and dive into the article. It is yet another 2 page spread on how WALL-E is the best film to hit Blu-Ray (they seriously have different variations of this article EVERY ISSUE). Now seeing as they are not saying anything new you would expect me to rush through it but no…..Instead, I stand there with the biggest smile on my face and read every word slowly making sure every sentence hits me like an Muhammad Ali punch. Now this is understandable you may think, you’d probably do the same on a topic you were extremely interested in. But tell me, would you re-read the article in fear that you missed something important? Coz that is exactly what I did, as if the words had suddenly changed, like the page had some sort of wi-fi connection and had just received some breaking news!! Seriously, what was I expecting to read?? the film had come and gone in the cinemas, the DVD and Blu-Ray had long been released, all that’s left is the Disney on ice adaption!! I just couldn’t pry my eyes away from all the compliments and admiration jumping off the page.
So now you’re thinking “I know where this is heading……” and yes, you would be right, I DID miss my train, BUT….I had been so immersed in all this WALL-E stuff that not only did I miss my train but the following train (which FYI comes 30 minutes later) was 1 minute away from departure!! I dropped the magazine as if it had suddenly burst into a colony of poisonous ants and legged it to my platform. Luckily for me the barriers were open so I didn’t have to waste time fumbling for my travel card. Unluckily for me the train doors took pleasure in shutting in my face leaving me standing on the empty platform like a right dooshbag. Not only did the train seem amused by this act but it waited another 90 seconds before departing as if it was teasing me!!! It was like an evil ‘Thomas the Tank Engine’ that wore a face of satisfaction and an evil grin!! DAMN YOU NETWORK RAIL!! and DAMN YOU WALL-E!!!
This isn't even the first time WALL-E had screwed me over, in fact there have been many occasions in the past. Viewing a youtube video of WALL-E on the red carpet made me late for the last showing of ‘The Dark Knight’ that evening. Looking at the back of the PS3 WALL-E game in HMV somehow added an extra 15minutes to my lunch break and got me in trouble at work. Reading the ‘Empire’ review on WALL-E made me forget about picking my lil brother up from school. Ahead of me lay another 30 minutes til the next train so what do I do? go back into WHSmiths to read that article again :P