Monday, 30 June 2008

Get Smart Review

Now initially I had no plans of seeing this film, despite my recent rantings about my new found love for Steve Carell comedy, but as there was no decent looking films to watch on the big screen and it had been a while since I wrote a review, I decided to give it a go. I give this 3 stars out of generosity and respect to Mr. Carell because this film is actually 4 shades of poo. If a decent film was a pub dart hitting the 50 point bullseye, this film would fly right past the dartboard and catch the bartender in the neck. With every faint attempt of a joke I painfully forced out a little chuckle in hope I could fool myself into thinking this was worth my time and money. This was like an (equally as bad) American version of Johnny English, where every lame joke made you wanna slap the cinema manager and ask why (s)he allowed a film like this to step foot in the screening room!! I question Steve Carell for signing on the dotted line, seriously, did he even read the script! I guess if i squint my eyes...maybe take off my glasses, hold up two empty wine bottles and peer through I could MAYBE see how this can be a few peoples cup of tea but it was a total time waster for me. Oh well.....cant win em all Stevey

Wednesday, 25 June 2008

WALL-E Review

IN THE RED CORNER, THE LATEST PRODUCT FROM HEAVYWEIGHT TEAM PIXAR......WALL-E!!!!!! IN THE BLUE CORNER, THE DEFENDING CHAMP, THE BIRTH OF NON-HUMAN CHARACTERS WITH REAL HEART AND HUMAN-TRAITS.........E.T.!!!!!!!!!!! **DING DING DING** WALL-E smacks E.T. so hard in his Christina Ricci-like face im not surprised he wants to go home. Im just playing, without E.T. there probably wouldnt be any WALL-E (or Drew Barrymore lol, I heard she was born and raised specifically to be cute in that film.....what!! thats what I heard!!)

I have literally been counting down the release of this film since it was mentioned Feb 2007 and OMG it didnt disappoint. This film is like the sneaky guy who hops in a cab to get miles ahead in a race and nobody understands how they got there so fast. Wall-E is practically standing at the finish line with binoculars watching the other animations sluggishly compete enviously. I cant believe they have made an almost silent film and still managed to impress us...I bet they could release a film with no movement what-so-ever and we'd still be glued to our seats starring at a still-life image for 2 hours in sheer delight. The visuals top 'Cars', and the story tops 'Finding Nemo'. They really hit the jackpot.

I was amazed by the design & movement of our hero WALL-E. His caterpillar track wheels manage to be true to the physics, yet his creative use of them allows him to perform very imaginative actions. His rusted and worn metal panels manage to show he is no spring chicken but are not overbearing to the point where admiration and endearment cannot be felt for him. I also loved the way he cowers into a perfect square when he is scared. The beginning is magical, the entrance of EVE is spectacular, the humour is subtle, appropriately placed and gags are never dwelled upon like DreamWorks films which give it longevity. I do think the ship based scenes were too different from the other sepia toned scenes and they felt out of place. I would even stretch to say they were not of the same standard as even the humans were not much more impressive than those of 'Toy Story 2' but regardless the rest of the film is more than good enough to assure a 5 star rating from me (and of course Empire). One of the greatest cinema experiences Iv ever had I got my fix. Only 359 days til the next Pixar film 'UP' out 17th July 2009, I CANT WAIT!!!!!

Sunday, 15 June 2008

Kung Fu Panda Review

Only a studio like Dreamworks can take a panda and successfully make him a kung fu Dragon Warrior. I mean seriously, what next, a worm that wants to be a fishing legend? a snake that dreams of playing professional football, an elephant spy with impressive stealth or even a 700 year old Waste Allocated Load Lifting robot that discovers love.....oh wait......any who, this film really was a leap out of the ordinary for Dreamworks animations. It was jammed pack, like a school boy's lunchbox whose parents think may be anorexic, with so much action and kung fu-ness but there is also a lot of heart which i find non-existent in most other Dreamwork animations. Jack Black is an AMAZING voice talent, I thought he was great in Shark Tale but absolutely SENSATIONAL in this. The voice was perfect for Po the panda and was done so well you can easily differentiate between the man and the CGI animal. One thing Dreamworks never lacks in is their actual animation skills, this film was no exception proving even the most active movements and scenes are no problem from the annoyingly talented DW team. I did find they didn't use all voice talents to their fullest. Jackie Chan and Angelina Jolie were hardly noticeable which I find strange, surely if you invest crap-loads of cash for these stars to sell your movie you should actually USE them accordingly, I think they have like 4 lines between them!! Its like paying an extra grand for one of the hot prostitutes and only getting to snuggle with her.....i would want the WORKS!!!! Oh well it aint my money........a toast to an exciting, fun, and pure kung-fuey film, cheers

Thursday, 12 June 2008

The Incredible Hulk Review

Its sooo unfair, when he gets angry he turns green, gets super-human strength, and suddenly appears in trendy shorts....when I get angry I grind my teeth, throw toys at people like a baby and sometimes wet myself in anger... oh well, thats life. I found this film very enjoyable mainly because Hulk had a proper villain to piss him off. The editing wasnt as impressive as the previous film with its beautiful transactions but had more hulk-action in its favor. The ending was 10x better the previous one, its what we all really wanna see, a good fist fight!! unlike the last one that ended with some flashing lights in a vortex of fog spinning about like a tornado....what the hell was that all about. was luvin the new bruce banner, Norton did him justice. Bad points about this film is the model of hulk itself was so exaggerated its ridicules, plus the face doesnt look anything like Banner. The rage is really intoxicating, upon leaving the really cold, semi-full cinema someone budged me out the way to beat me to the door...needless to say I started grinding my teeth and threw a toy at him :P