Saturday, 19 April 2008

The Water Horse: Legend of the Deep Review

When I hatched my first Water Horse egg I dont remember it being nearly half as cute as the one in this film, in fact I seem to recall it chewing off part of my left ear, thats why I named him Tyson........oh wait......what am I talkin about!!........IM LOSIN MY MIND!!!.............I called him Charlie. Lol.

I was not drawn to this film when it came to cinemas, the whole Loch Ness monster myth has never really floated my boat (and why would it, it would just knock me over lol......sorry) but when the DVD came out boldly displaying the VFX company responsible for the creature (Weta, creators of King Kong and Gollum) I was more than a little intrigued. I bought it on Blu-ray to reap the fullness of the CGI and my God was it worth it. Every one of the many shots that presented the creature was so life-like and realistic you'd swear the director was discussing how each shot should be played with him between takes. The interaction between CGI and live characters was almost flawless and the lighting matched the environments down to a 'T'.

I think its fair to say the story itself was nothing extraordinary but was good enough to compliment the visuals. Emily Watson however, was an utter disgrace all-be-it her character was pretty dull on paper anyway, but her acting didnt help which I found to be a big standout weight holding this film down. Definately worth the watch, especially on Blu-ray with a Full HD TV. Right gotta go bathe my Water Horse and ....erm.....eventually wake up

The Forbidden Kingdom Review

Now is probably not the best time to write this as im in the middle of some amateur kung fu fighting for the last slice of pizza *Slap to the face* (hey i said it was amateur)

Anyway its good to see Jackie and Jet in a film together, I cant believe it has taken so long. The film is okish....watchable....enjoyable.......good i guess. Ok im just gonna say it, Im pissed off with Hollywood trying to make kung fu films. *twist of the nipples* These American kung fu films are destroying the face of the martial arts film genre. 'Bullet Proof Monk' you have Sean William Scott trying his hand at it, 'Forbidden Kingdom' has Michael Angarano trying it, you even have Chris Tucker thinking he can kick ass in the 'Rush Hour' franchise. Martial arts in my opinion should be left to the experts especially where film is concerned *Tug on the armpit hairs* and this, lets face it, is Asians.......oh and Jean-Claude Van Damme. Its all gotten too westernized, the storys the actors and the fake CGI fights. And im not saying we should be strict to the old skool films, i do embrace the SFX every now and again. 'Crouchin Tiger' used a crap-load of rope and was amazing, 'Shaolin Soccer' used crap-loads of CGI and was DISGUTINGLY AMAZING!!!! but i want these films to stay true to their roots, thats why I love them. *block the smack to the chin* the 'Police Story's, the 'Iron Monkey's, the 'Enter The dragon's.

Well anyway this film aint too shabby plus there is some very good fight scenes between Chan and Li that will be any lover of Kung Fu films cup of tea.Oh and the chick in it is a MEGA BABE!!!!!!!!!!!(sorry i failed to really share my views on this particular film)

*and a mouth fart to the belly secures the last slice of pizza....I AM THE ONE!!!!!*